apparently in holland they were trying to do the world record for the longest domino chain and then a bird came in an knocked 23,000 of them over… then they shot the bird and got fined because it was an endangered species. if one story has described my life as much as this story has, i’d like to hear it.
u know what the worst thing about being a girl is… is when another girl asks u for a hair tie, but its ur last one, but u can’t say u don’t have one because she knows its on ur wrist, so u give it to her, and then she says “oh i’ll give it back!” knowing damn well she won’t, and u sit there sad because now you have to go buy another pack of hair ties that u know ur gonna lose by the end of the month
"kim is talentless and slutty" kim kardashian can’t hear you over the sound of all her legal team lawyers calling to discuss her latest store opening / makeup empire / tv contract / business strategy on how she can make more money than you will make in your goddamn year sorry RING RING RING RING RING thats also kanye west calling to have phone sex with her from tour because they have a healthy relationship where they love each other and want to be intimate in a way their lives allow. you sound mad you look mad. stay mad
What would you like to happen during an apocalypse?
sort of wanna hang out with friends
sort of don’t wanna wear a bra which is required to hang out with friends
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